May 31, 2010

Love after cancer

Love after cancer is a bit different from regular love.

Cancer survivor love means loving from a really imperfect body. Not that my body was perfect before cancer, but now I have some crazy scars and bumps.

Cancer survivor love, for me, means a more forgiving love. Yes, my hubby still has a habit of running late for just about everything, but at least he gets there eventually and that is what's important.

Cancer survivor love is more self aware. Now that I have looked death in the eye, I know that nothing is forever, so each moment of love is more precious.

Cancer survivor love is imperfect. And so was love before cancer. But now I am more accepting of the imperfections of love, just as I am more accepting of my body's imperfections.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Zahara,
    We met at the G'burg Book Festival. You gave me Greg Hubbs info, I emailed him, and now Volker is reading my book for a review on TA.com. Thanks so much for the connection. I REALLY appreciate it.
    Great post about imperfect/perfect love. Loving each other right where we are makes life easier.

    all the best,
    Jennifer Monahan
    www.jennifermonahan.com

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  2. Hi Jennifer, Thanks for the update and the comment. I like your concept of loving each other right where we are. Will try to practice that! Best, Zahara

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  3. Hi Z...I LOVE this blog and I am so moved by your writing, your courage to live better after cancer and ....well....just that you are thriving and living big. I love you from afar. I am also thriving in an imperfect post-cancer body (God I love the vibrator) and in a marriage and family life that has become more beautiful over time because of all of our increased appreciation of my being here. MArk and I are going to Paris next week to celebrate my 10th Cancerversary! Yay! Leaving the kids here with his brother and new wife who we love. All good. Eliot (my younger boy who is 13) has a girlfriend whose mom has had about 5 BC recurrences and is struggling through chemo and trying to be there for her daughter's Bat Mitzvah which is this weekend. The experience of Eliot having his close friend (and now girlfriend) have her mother be struggling has really affected him deeply. He is just coming to terms with my cancer 10 years later and appreciating me so much more. You just never know what lies on the road ahead! Thank you for doing this! I am blogging too on my website but nothing quite so deep and moving as you have put together here. Thank you. Hugs, Jo

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